A Title Everyone Will Forget So I Don't Bother Putting One
by WOFWalker
Summary: A crack one-shot of an alternate AU set 35 years ago that's full of puns. Pairings of Mana x Nea and Katerina x Adam. Warning: Please do not read if you don't like sexual content.
**Collab work with** **DarkyetnotthatdarkMATTER.**

 **Oh my god, this is so cracky and full of puns.**

 **Whelp, enjoy.**

* * *

Surrounding the Campbell Soup mansion, the golden wheatie sways as the chilly wind blew across the land. The bright sunset gave off colors of gold, red, orange, pink, and whatever gay colors sunsets give off. Cornelia the know-it-all-but-wont-tell-it-all tree gazes across the wheatie cereal field. Katerina the Eve stood below the tree with her crybaby, memetosis lover, Adam the Apple.

"Oh, my dearest Kit Kat, how much I loveth thee," Adam the Apple crooned, swooning as the wind blew past his body.

"Hush, my beloved Apple," Katerina the Eve whispered softly back, her sweet breath tickling between her lips. "We know we do not have Campbell time to be together; you still need to cut yourself in two so I can have gaybies."

"But I cannot bear to separate myself from you!" Adam the Apple cried out, his Adam's Apple moved up and down to grasp as much as possible. "I Tryde all Maaitora but I can never stray off the Road that leadeth to you."

"Shshshshshsh," Katerina the Eve reassured her Adam the Apple. "We must not give up our hopes. You will always be the Granny Smith to my carrot self."

Unbeknownst to the couple, Cornelia the wily dead, very plot relevant willow that is know-it-all-but-wont-tell-it-all has shifted its gaze towards the Campbell Soup mansion. Or more specifically, the room housing two handsomely, tonely, young men making the most erotically noises ever known.

The longer-haired male, Mana the Mirror Man was gazing contentedly as his not-twin-but-is-twin Nea the Body-Stealing Trashlord. Mana the Mirror Man had taken the whole of Nea the Body-Stealing Trashlord.

Mana looked up with glee, his golden eyes shining predatorily at his wrecked not-twin-but-is twin brother. Nea, once so carefully composed, became wanton with need as his tiny Crown Clown began to leak Dark Matter from its Innocence killing tip.

With an erotic moan, Nea released himself into Mana's mouth, his back arching as Mana the Mirror Man sucked all the delicious pure Dark Matter that had exploded into Mana the Mirror Man's warm cavern.

After swallowing the Dark Matter up, Mana released his hold on Nea's Crown Clown with a pop.

Nea grinned. "It's the good thing we destroy Innocence...in all forms..."

Mana cackled, and with, he clambered over his not-twin-but-is-twin's body and sunk himself onto the little Crown Clown, feeling the pleasure that speared into his fragile body by its Innocence killing tip. With a moan, Mana the Mirror Man rode upon Nea the Body-Stealing Trashlord like a deprived cowboy wheat farmer who needs the ride of his life.

"Come to me my Fourteenth... I will NEA LET YOU GO!"

They both came, their releases releasing the pleasure stream of Dark Matter as it rockets across their bed. Both men collapsed, exhausted, sweaty, and euphorically happy as they made an oat to never part.

Mana snuggled up to his not-twin-but-is-twin brother-father-and future son. "Nea leave my side, Fou our parting shall never be EARLy."

Nea the Body-Stealing Trashlord was about to say something Bak, until Mana the Mirror Man said something else.

"Please save me from the Earl's terrible puns."

Nea's eyes pupilated, as he heard those words mumbled out of his dearest not-twin-but-is-twin-brother-father-and-future-son. When Mana began to do the hiccup snoring thing called sleep with his ravishing, smexy hair, Nea made his move.

He attempted to cut the hair, but then he realized he had fALLEN IN LOVE WITH MANA'S HAIR. He had CROSSED the barrier of love, and now he was Marian his sins with his desires.

He had to stop this.

Nea then got right the heck off of Mana and swore to destroy the Earl for the rest of his life.

"I will slay the Earl of this millennium...and spare the human race of whatever puns the Earl has reMANAING."

HE TOOK THIS OAT TO HIS HEART AS HE WHEATED OUT EACH OF THE NOAH.

He entered the Noah's Ark and began his killing spreeeeeeeeeeee.

Road was like "Bro, you can't kill the earl just because his puns are unWISELY terrible to the exdream."

And Nea was all like "Ah HELL NO BUDDY, EARL GOIN' DOWN, SCREW DIS!"

And that is why the Fourteenth killed every Noah, excluding the ninety nine year old apostle Road Come-a-Lot and The Millenium Earl because Road used her magical Dreamy powers to put down the terrible Wrath of Nea the Body-Stealing Trashlord.


End file.
